We finally received our critique of the five issues we submitted last year.
Your Assignment: read the critique in the box above and write a response to one of the strengths cited by the judge and one of the weaknesses. Specifically, what can we do to improve on our weaknesses? Post your response on the blog.
I like that we actually cover important news going on in school. We need to improve our leads to keep people reading. Everyone needs to put more thought into their leads when writing them.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Gerardo. Our leads are a problem. Many people are skipping stories just because the lead seems boring . If we want reader to read most of these stories we are going to have to make the leads more interesting.
Delete- Kevin Flores
Leads are difficult to come up with unless you're creative. Everyone should help out and pitch in ideas.
Delete-Adriana Benitez
The critique about the Features section was on point. I believe we should keep The Chic Sheik as a permanent feature in the newspaper. It attracts many readers. Moreover, it is evident that we do reviews on mainstream pop culture and not focus on local artists. Maybe we can research more on artists from our area. This will bring something new to our paper, as well as promote and support them.
ReplyDelete-Adriana Benitez
This is very true. Even though our entertainment reviews are good, we need to focus more on local entertainment, not just something that occurs nationwide.
DeleteI agree on how we do reviews on mainstream stuff. Most of the reviews people can either look for online or they do not even know what they are (music reviews). It will probably be best to get local artists that are either under-appreciated or artists that are famous in the local area. Like this we might have more readers for the entertainment section.
Delete- Kevin Flores
I agree we should keep The Chic Sheik as a permanent feature in the newspaper instead of just having the Athlete of the Month. - Beatriz Sison
DeleteWe were only 55 points away from first class, and needed marks of distinction in at least two more categories to get All-American.
ReplyDeleteNext year (when we submit this year's issues) I want a First Class distinction!
DeleteLayout, graphics, and art. Let's do this!
DeleteWe seem to be doing great for ideas in the story. However, he does raise a point on how we do have a lot of "dead art" and not the best introductions. By fixing these small but noticeable weaknesses, we can most likely receive more points and less weaknesses. We can fix the photos prblem by trying to get more action shots while we can fix the header problems by trying to think of better ways to begin a story.
ReplyDeleteexactly, but in order to do that so, people have to be more committed and passionate about writing and informing your fellow students. When you have a story you have to dedicate YOUR time to write an amazing story. That means you have to sacrifice your time with friends and attending the event that you are writing about and capturing important things, be professional and interview, DO NOT BE SHY! we have minor issues, but we have potential.
DeleteEven though we are not in All-American status, we sure have very strong areas in coverage. It would be nice to improve more on layout.
ReplyDelete-Steven M.
We are very close to being First-Class. Let's go for All-American. We have two issues to go, so let's make improving the layout a high priority.
DeleteI agree we need to improve more on layout. Also, we need to improve the quality of the images. - Beatriz Sison
DeleteOne of the strength this newspaper has is the news stories. It is a newspaper after all, but we basically cover every news related story in this school. We know what's up and we get people informed which is our job. So we are on the right track.
ReplyDeleteOne of our weaknesses is the entertainment stories. We need to focus on stories that students can't get anywhere else but the school's newspaper. It should be more local, more new, and more fresh.
I agree with the critic's comment. We are a school where we have a lot of entertainment around us. Instead of writing things that students can get somewhere else we should explore more of the local things. We should get the students hooked.
I agree with the part of having a lot of entertainment around us and that we should focus more on things that are local.
DeleteI agree, we are students at the "world famous" Hollywood High school and we literary have entertainment all around us, we should use that to our advantage.
DeleteI agree with having Entertainment stories that could grab the student's attention. We should write entertainment stories that students want to read, what they like.
DeleteIt's great that we are doing well in sports coverage while making sure to include the clubs. I also agree that we need to put more emphasis on the sports like interviewing the coaches and things like that
ReplyDeleteI agree with this because it is true that we can publish stats fine, but we need more quotes from coaches and players after the game. It would add more emotion and more of the feelings about how they feel they played.
DeleteI agree and we should also have more things on sports and what they'e doing because we have too little.
DeleteI agree. Maybe it's just that I'm not a sports guy, but sports stories always seem dry. We need a different angle, or something. Interviewing coaches as you said, perhaps.
DeleteI agree if we just interview coaches that can get us at a different angle or somthing like that.-Desarae Zendejas
DeleteI think we need better pictures. I don't really see whats wrong with the layout, etc. I think the pictures need to be more HD and it has to grab the attention of the readers. To fix the visual needs to improve the newspaper I think we need to imitate other newspapers pictures and the layout. When I look at other exchange papers i actually read the whole newspaper, its really interesting. Many people have told me that our school's newspaper is boring but I believe that if we get better pictures people would actually read the whole newspaper.
ReplyDeleteJenny Jeong
I agree with visuals being a problem, especially because the reader will first look at the picture before reading the story. If the picture captures the reader's attention then they will most likely read the story that goes with it than skipping it.
Deletedouble check the pictures to make sure they're clear
ReplyDeleteThe pictures should be more clear and should be more eye-catching. The comments were that our pictures are somewhat dead and by improving that our newspaper will be much better.
DeleteIf we had more clear and eye dropping pictures then the comments on the pictures would be more positive then negative. -Desarae Zendejas
Deletedouble check pictures for accurate image
ReplyDeleteI like that we include image(s) with stories which makes the page more interesting but we need to improve the quality of the image and the size. -Beatriz Sison
ReplyDeleteI think that people need to take the initiative of checking out a camera and not relying on just their phones and iPods all the time, especially when they know that they have an opportunity for a great picture.
DeleteI agree. Also more visuals are needed. Students expect pictures most of all.
Delete-Adriana Benitez
yes, we do need to focus on our image quality.
DeleteI like how they recognize how we tried different material every issue and how we focused on strong issues that affect us directly for our opinion pages. I would want to improve on our sports stories because he did see that was our main issue and I would want to try for the last two issues a better improvement
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you said and what the critic said. We need to put more effort on our sports pages. It is the one that gets least attention. More focus is needed
DeleteOne of the strengths cited by the judge is our coverage and content. How we focus more on school stories than outside stories like it should be. Also the stories relate to the students. One of our weaknesses cited by the judge is our photos. How there is no action or reaction within them, they are just dead. We need to work on that, by maybe issuing lessons on how to take action photos. Then each one of us going out and taking photos and we can critique them afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about having lessons issued to us on taking better photos and then going out to take pictures for everyone to judge.
DeleteI agree with the fact that the newspaper had a great amount of interesting and diverse stories. We can improve on our weaknesses by adding stats to sports stories . We also need to add more visuals with some action and movement in them. Instead of taking a picture of a poster promoting an event, we should go to and take pictures of what happened at the event.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, especially on the photos because we do tend to show photos with no action or reaction within them. So yeah, we should really work on that.
DeleteI do concur with your consensus on sports and it is evident that we need to put a greater emphasis on that category.There's always room for improvement.
DeleteI agree that we do a good job on covering news in school and other important news that make an impact outside of school. I also agree with the part where it said that for the entertainment page, most of the content may be found on other websites. We should write about more local things like the school's rock band (for the music review part) or something like that.
ReplyDeleteOne of the strengths of the newspaper is the layout and our stories. Our stories are always on point, never something that is in the past. It is always about something that people are intrigues to read about. One of the weaknesses is the sports news. I believe this because we don't put as many sports stories on the newspaper. I agree with the critic's comment because that is exactly how I feel. Our news should grab people's attentions more. -Lauren Kim
ReplyDeleteI agree with sports as being one of our weak spots. We need to spend a little more time on sports coverage, as well as taking appropriate and active pictures.
Delete-Steven M.
yes it is true, but i believe that our problem is not because we do not put as many sport stories... it is students lack of commitment. When you write a sport story, you cannot ask a fellow friend to give you a picture that you could have taken. i feel like students should be more passionate on writing, because if you are not the stories will never be as good as you want them to. When assigned a story, you should dedicate your time in that story. to perfect it. That does mean you sacrifice time with your friends. If you get a sport story assigned, all you have to do is attend the event Try to get a decent photo by moving around, interview the coach and the fellow players, and remember to NOT BE SHY!
DeleteAfter reading the through analysis of the paper I realized that OP-ED was a strong point in our paper, specifically because students were not afraid to express our opinions. This is what student newspapers are all about (in this particular section) expressing opinion because we feel oppressed. Unfortunately, we are not doing well in our photo skill because he said we had "dead art" this has proven to be a difficulty for us, but there is space to improve. On our layout we received a really low score, but we can change that because more people, like me, are being trained by Vanessa in this area. We can improve our paper and we will do so, we will strive for that first-class spot!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your optimism and can-do spirit. We need more people to think this way.
Delete-Holly
Yes, I was really happy with the comment that we "speak truth to power." That's a reference to a speech by Robert Kennedy.
DeleteAfter reading the critique I'm left feeling like our priorities should be photography and design. The judge talked about improving our writing but he didn't sound as worried as he did about our "dead art" and "wedding cake design." To improve on design we should probably have closer deadlines so that the people who layout the pages have time to make mistakes but most of all to fix them. I feel like from photography he just wanted more action shots. I like how he complimented us on our leadership.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the deadline thing. Laying out pages takes time and sometimes it gets hurried in order to meet the deadline. We all need to work faster in order to get everything done much faster and more accurate. If we had time to look over the layouts after we are done laying them out i feel like we would have less mistakes.
DeleteI'd say the trouble with photos is that they're last minute. Shorter deadlines will only work if people are willing to get down to business.
DeleteI agree with most of what the critique had to say about the newspaper. The photos need improvement and the cartoons are funny, but they have too much words cramped into them. I am glad the critique only had a few negative comments about the newspaper. Overall I think we do not need a lot of work to get to First Class, but we need to try harder.
ReplyDeletei totally agree with you, the quality of our pictures need major improvement, without having the quality and perfection the picture needs , no one will tend to read the specific article. if we can catch the reader's attention with a hook of the article, there would not be any problems with quality of the pictures. -walter carrero
DeleteThe critique was very accurate. The newspaper always has a lot of important coverage and most stories start with a good lead that attracts readers. Overall the newspaper is very good. What needs work would be organizing the stories to have space and being able to layout the pages well so that the newspaper looks good and does not seem confusing. Pictures also have a lot to do with how the newspaper looks, the better pictures we have, the newspaper will look more interesting.
ReplyDeleteLeslie Flores
The critique was very accurate. The newspaper always has a lot of important coverage and most stories start with a good lead that attracts readers. Overall the newspaper is very good. What needs work would be organizing the stories to have space and being able to layout the pages well so that the newspaper looks good and does not seem confusing. Pictures also have a lot to do with how the newspaper looks, the better pictures we have, the newspaper will look more interesting.
ReplyDeleteLeslie Flores
you have a point, without having a picture to attract the reader's attention, no one will read the newspaper and it'd be useless to even have a school newspaper if no one tends to read it -walter carrero
DeleteOur score on the entire critique was average, hence we did get a lot of positive feedback of the how the newspaper's information is organized. He complemented us on the way the newspaper does cover the important and recent information that is occurring. I agree with his statement about having to stick to local information within the school and not extend it to other areas because of the limited amount of space . I also agree with his opinion of how the designs should be more organized. In my opinion he just wants us to make the designs more organized but at the same time diverse. - Eloisa Garcia
ReplyDeleteI agree with the critique on how we handle our editorial, analysis, analysis writing, and also photo technical quality.The word my only affects you ,and those who feel the same way ,but how will that topic affect others.Taking pictures for sports may seem hard for those who are shy, or feel awkward to just move around to take pictures may be hard but remember that you are doing this for everyone who reads this.Also keep an eye out for incoming plays that might happen.
ReplyDeleteJohn Guanzon
We need to improve the quality of the images. When it comes to taking a photo, we can capture the moment, but the quality of the picture can be improved. We put in a lot of support and pride when we write out newspaper, but maybe we are leaving things put; or maybe we just put things that are not necessary. we tend to have a lack on action photos because most people tend to look at the picture before reading the article. if the picture does not call the reader's attention, people will not read the newspaper. -walter carrero.
ReplyDeleteOK, now reply to two other people's comments.
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